Advocating for liberties.

To positively move forward, one must not condemn or the status quo. Focusing on how to improve things WITH suggested solutions is vital to progress. In making efforts to propose change for military families, I have been keep that in mind - it's my mantra, if you will. I have always been of the mindset that negativity begets negativity. So rather than focus on "what's wrong", I shift my focus to what is right and how can it be improved. Really, this is a good rule to follow in our day-to-day life. It's just that simple.

For example, our great Nation affords us liberties that others around the world are not so fortunate to enjoy. Given that, we must hone in on our right to make proposals, challenge existing procedures and laws, vote, and support those who need advocating.

The Fourteenth Amendment states, "All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the state wherein they reside. No state shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any state deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws." (Source: U.S. Constitution, www.law.cornell.edu).

The positive: No laws currently exist that expressly abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens who are military dependents.

HOWEVER, no law protects military dependents from discrimination.

Proposal for Change: to raise awareness on the issue of military dependent discrimination. Further, to aggressively seek state and federal support to provide equal opportunities for military dependents; to ultimately prohibit discrimination of military dependents.

In continued efforts to move for progress on this and related matters, I have been communicating with DOD officials, U.S. Senators, and various military support agencies and organizations to promote change. You can help too! Read on...

Military spouses, members and dependents, you are welcome to participate in a survey concerning discrimination in the employment and education arenas. Please spread the word, your support is appreciated. This survey may be done anonymously. Results will be compiled for a report in effort to further support military spouses, members, their children and other dependents. SURVEY (if the link doesn't work, cut and paste this into your web browser www.surveymonkey.com/s/ZK6KMNZ)

Additionally, you can submit questions, stories, statistics, or whatever else you have on this topic to militarylegislation@yahoo.com.

I hit the books. It hit my wallet.

I was always a student who showed exceptional academic promise growing up. My teachers always gave glowing reports. Everyone assumed I would always do well scholastically and so did I. Fast forward to high school. It was assumed I would make National Honor Society. I didn't. For some reason, my junior year, my grades plummeted. It could have been because of my insane extracurricular and work schedule. It could also have been party due to peer pressure and slacking off. Whatever the reason, my grades suffered because I stopped putting in the effort I always had. I started having other interests and not having my nose in a book all the time didn't fit in. I still studied and did well, but I was certainly not the top in my class -- by a long shot.

This cost me a number of scholarships and potential collegiate pursuits.

I decided, the summer before my senior year of high school, to join the United States Marine Corps. This had nothing to do with my grades. Instead, I always felt called to service. I come from a military family and had it in my blood, in a way. I enjoyed the romance and history of wars of bygone eras; but the tragedies were not lost on me. Still, I felt untouchable. It was a time of peace when I enlisted and I assured my parents there was nothing to worry about.

I started taking some college classes when I was on active duty. Because of operational commitments interfering and some bad choices of not going to class a time or two, I withdrew. In 1999, I left active duty with an Honorable Discharge. I still hadn't finished school. Looking back, my recruiter had instilled in me that I would and it would be a piece of cake. Funny thing, is, it wasn't, for a number of reasons.

I rejoined the civilian world and started a full-time job and began taking community college courses at night. It was hard. It was grueling because while my friends were out and about having fun, I was in class or doing homework. I excelled at most of my classes, but almost begrudgingly, if you can imagine that. I was still young. I loathed spending my nights and weekends in school. I had applied for my GI Bill and was planning on using that because I felt I had to. To be honest, at that point in my life, my heart wasn't in school and I didn't give it the effort I could have. I wasted a lot of time and money on classes that would end being nontransferable when I switched schools.

I met my boyfriend (now husband) not long after I started night classes. He was very supportive and encouraged me to keep going to school even when I had no desire to do so. About six months into our relationship, things got very serious and we moved. So, I withdrew from community college and transferred to a private college in New Hampshire near where we lived.

Still working full-time and having a heck of a commute into and out of Boston each day, the school just got to be too much for me. I couldn't give it the attention it deserved and I didn't want to waste anymore of my GI Bill. A bunch of my community college and military credits didn't transfer or translate to my new college's program. I was dismayed, to say the least. For awhile, I stopped going to school.

We got married and within a year I was expecting our first child. Reality began to set in. If I don't go back to school now, when was I going to, I asked myself. All I could envision was my child graduating college before I had. This was and is perfectly acceptable. However, at that point in my life, it didn't sit well with me and I finally realized I had to make the commitment to my education.

Eight months pregnant, still working full time, and with my husband about to join a deploying unit, I went back to school. Crazy? Yes, perhaps. I had some months left on my GI Bill and I gave it my all. My professors thought I was a bit loopy for even attempting this given my situation, but they were supportive anyway, especially two I can recall fondly.

Even though I was using my GI Bill, my education was costly early on. When I couldn't attend enough classes to qualify for the GI Bill, I had to pay out of pocket and take out student loans. I had to because it was the only thing that worked for my family situation at the time.

I decided to start taking online classes first so that I could still be home with my baby when my husband was deployed. This worked for quite awhile. I would work and study when she napped and then stay up late hours at night while she slept in her crib. As you can imagine, there were many tough nights with colic and a cranky mommy and an absent husband that made college very trying. I kept my eyes set on my goal and made a plan to graduate within two years with my Bachelor of Arts.

By the time 2005 rolled around, I had another child. I was caring for two babies and enduring numerous deployments as my husband was still at his same unit. I did it though. In May 2005, I graduated with my BA! My husband was away at a school and wasn't even sure if he could make it to the graduation, but he did. He got there in the nick of time and my mom and him and two daughters watched me walk down the aisle in my cap and gown and receive my degree.

My eyes were still set on continuing my education. Unfortunately, after 36 months, my GI Bill ran out. I decided I would still go on in school. I applied for grants, scholarships and loans. I only was able to get the loans (of course). I started graduate school in the spring of 2006. If you can believe it, shortly thereafter, I found out I was expecting (unexpectedly) my third child. I almost had a melt down. How was I going to do this? How could I manage grad school and three kids? I considered dropping out, but opted to give it a go. I am so glad I did. My son arrived in April of 2007 and I kept at it, remembering all I had endured just to get my BA. I knew I could do this!

Sure, I incurred another set of student loans, but I graduated in 2008 with my Masters.

Going back to school certainly came with numerous obstacles as an adult learner. I was far from the youngest in my class, but I also wasn't the youngest. When I finally made the serious commitment to go back and stick with it in 2003 my life changed. I said that I will do this for myself and for my family. I did.

There are so many who find finances an obstacle, but you can get assistance. I am sure there was much more available to me, but I didn't have the resources to get them. And, as a Coast Guard spouse, many of the DOD assistance programs weren't available to me.

It's not as easy and readily available as most military spouses wish for it to be, but that is something I am committed to changing. The difficulties I faced with deployments, childcare expenses, tuition and course costs, etc. helped me to understand what so many other military spouses face. Education is attainable, but for so many it feels unattainable. I am eager to work on some progressive and positive changes in this vein and am already doing what I can to see improvements made in this area.