Being supportive v. Being the problem solver

Today, I heard some words about how important is to try to NOT heal the world’s hurt.

Volunteers and folks involved with charity are usually compassionate beyond a normal level--bleeding hearts, if you will. Compassion and kindness can be as simple as being there and letting others know you care. Still, many seek to fix all that ails those who come to them for aid. I exhibit this trait occasionally. To be honest, it used to take up a great deal of my time. I have been working on this for a couple of years. I am retraining myself to know that I can be supportive, but not solve everyone's problems.

What can be frustrating is not being able to succeed at fixing everyone’s problems all the time and that's how a problem can become bigger, because it starts adversely affecting more and more people. The key is realizing that you can be a good humanitarian by just listening and supporting.

I am not saying that you shouldn't try to help others. No, that's not it at all. What I mean is to assess the situation and see if the particular issue calls for you to be an ally or a fixer. There are some cases in which you might actually be able to help solve a problem or at least support an effort to work towards the resolutions. Knowing the difference in situations is the tricky part.
Not everyone is resourceful and not everyone feels as though their situation is fair; and, therefore, they are seeking a remedy.

Unfortunate circumstances happen. Sometimes it can be due to choices an individual makes or because of things out of their control. Regardless of why someone is suffering, supporters cannot be expected to fix it all. They also shouldn’t place that burden upon themselves. Oftentimes, the suffering individual doesn’t even want you to fix their problem. Still, you may recognize the predicament and you may jump to resolve it, as is your nature, as is mine.

In terms of supporting military families, this is a common issue. What I have found is that by making myself available to others, even if just lending an ear. Being supportive and hearing what someone is saying, is all it takes sometimes to help them regain their confidence and get themselves the resources they need to get things back on track.

I enjoy helping others. I feel it is my duty to give back in many areas. I have an obligation to serve. I also take pride in the fact that I am often sought out for advice and support. I wish I had all the answers, but I don’t. I am learning to know that my inability to fix everything is not a limitation, but rather an opportunity to be simply an ally.

And, more often than not, that’s all it takes. If someone knows you are in the corner and you care, they can keep forging ahead. They can figure it out and fix it on their own.