To positively move forward, one must not condemn or the status quo. Focusing on how to improve things WITH suggested solutions is vital to progress. In making efforts to propose change for military families, I have been keep that in mind - it's my mantra, if you will. I have always been of the mindset that negativity begets negativity. So rather than focus on "what's wrong", I shift my focus to what is right and how can it be improved. Really, this is a good rule to follow in our day-to-day life. It's just that simple.
For example, our great Nation affords us liberties that others around the world are not so fortunate to enjoy. Given that, we must hone in on our right to make proposals, challenge existing procedures and laws, vote, and support those who need advocating.
The Fourteenth Amendment states, "All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the state wherein they reside. No state shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any state deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws." (Source: U.S. Constitution, www.law.cornell.edu).
The positive: No laws currently exist that expressly abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens who are military dependents.
HOWEVER, no law protects military dependents from discrimination.
Proposal for Change: to raise awareness on the issue of military dependent discrimination. Further, to aggressively seek state and federal support to provide equal opportunities for military dependents; to ultimately prohibit discrimination of military dependents.
In continued efforts to move for progress on this and related matters, I have been communicating with DOD officials, U.S. Senators, and various military support agencies and organizations to promote change. You can help too! Read on...
Military spouses, members and dependents, you are welcome to participate in a survey concerning discrimination in the employment and education arenas. Please spread the word, your support is appreciated. This survey may be done anonymously. Results will be compiled for a report in effort to further support military spouses, members, their children and other dependents. SURVEY (if the link doesn't work, cut and paste this into your web browser www.surveymonkey.com/s/ZK6KMNZ)
Additionally, you can submit questions, stories, statistics, or whatever else you have on this topic to militarylegislation@yahoo.com.
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Friday, March 23, 2012
You are powerful!
Change cannot happen when one sits sedentary unwilling to help themselves. Recently, I was asked about an organization I volunteer for, and this came to mind. In a nutshell, I described some of my work, as spoon feeding available information to the masses. I am not trying to deprecate the importance of what we do. Rather, you see, I am not, nor is my team, omniscient.
We are just ordinary people who seek information, share resources and deliver it as effectively and expeditiously as we can to help others. You can too! Get involved. It’s that simple. You will be amazed as to how much awesome information, helpful resources and fantastic contacts with which to network and possibly befriend come your way when you open your eyes to what is right in front of you, or at least at your fingertips.
That’s right; you there, sitting at your computer screen, you have POWER. You are so powerful and you don’t even know it.
You have the power to change your individual circumstances. You have the power to move forward. You have the power to positively impact the community around you. Above and beyond all that, you have the power to change the world.
Grand developments and much-needed solutions are born from the simplest of things. Plato said once, (I’m well known for reiterating this) that: necessity is the mother of invention. After all, we wouldn’t create things needlessly. Well, I suppose we could and we do, but it’s not worth our while.
In essence, whatever troubles you or afflicts your life more than likely encumbers another person. So, to quote another inspiring individual: Be the change you want to see in the world (Mahatma Gandhi). Sometimes that world is just made up of you, but you can change it for the better if you make the effort. Don’t wait for someone else to do it for you!
We are just ordinary people who seek information, share resources and deliver it as effectively and expeditiously as we can to help others. You can too! Get involved. It’s that simple. You will be amazed as to how much awesome information, helpful resources and fantastic contacts with which to network and possibly befriend come your way when you open your eyes to what is right in front of you, or at least at your fingertips.
That’s right; you there, sitting at your computer screen, you have POWER. You are so powerful and you don’t even know it.
You have the power to change your individual circumstances. You have the power to move forward. You have the power to positively impact the community around you. Above and beyond all that, you have the power to change the world.
Grand developments and much-needed solutions are born from the simplest of things. Plato said once, (I’m well known for reiterating this) that: necessity is the mother of invention. After all, we wouldn’t create things needlessly. Well, I suppose we could and we do, but it’s not worth our while.
In essence, whatever troubles you or afflicts your life more than likely encumbers another person. So, to quote another inspiring individual: Be the change you want to see in the world (Mahatma Gandhi). Sometimes that world is just made up of you, but you can change it for the better if you make the effort. Don’t wait for someone else to do it for you!
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Look on the bright side.
When my spouse is deployed life certainly kicks into fast paced high gear. With three little ones running in various different directions you can imagine things can become overwhelming pretty rapidly. What I need to remember, that all military spouses need to remember is to breathe. Take a moment or two or a day for yourself if you are able. The burdens of parenthood, married life and the military all mixed together can be triply overpowering if you are not cautious.
I am talking about this today for two reasons. One is to remind myself to be good to myself. The second reason is to tell those of you out there who suffer from various conditions that it is okay to hurt and slow down but to remember you are still breathing and can still make the most of your days by looking at alternatives and knowing it could be worse. I will add this caveat that I know some things are easier said than done and I don’t purport to understand every ailment out there or how it affects you. Just consider this my perspective on looking on the bright side.
I suffer from a back condition to put it in simple terms. Add to that arthritis runs in my family and my doctors have said that some of my joint pain comes from the hereditary arthritis.
As of late, pain has kicked into high gear lately, coming more frequently than in the past few years, and ibuprofen and water (I know you military folks will laugh at that) are sometimes my best friends because with little kids at home and a life to live I cannot be taking strong pain meds, especially if my spouse is deployed. The pain can be extreme at times, just last week I was back in urgent care having it checked out because it was so horrible. Though, I am better off than most largely able to maneuver through my days and keep up with my kids. However, I have had a lot of off days in the past few months.
I was serving on active duty in the Marines when I was diagnosed with degenerative spondylolisthesis. It crushed me that I had to leave active duty. I cannot even tell you how much. I loved my job. I was good at it. I was damn good. I fully intended on a career in the Marines. More than that, this condition disrupted my life in a number of ways. I have always been a dancer, and I love to run. After trying to slowly get back into dance, in 2008 I hung up my dancing shoes for the last time because try as I might, the pain kept coming back. I am hopeful that one day I can return to the stage, but for now my health is something I need to focus on for my family. After all, I cannot be chasing after three kids if I am laid up in my bed. I can run every now and again, but certainly not like I used to be able to. Again, there are good days and bad days.
Why am I telling you all of this? Because I know that others out there have debilitating conditions that keep them from enjoying life to the fullest. My great uncle was home on military years and years ago, long before I was born, when he was in a terrible accident that crippled him for life. He became a quadriplegic and was wheelchair bound for the rest of his life.
I will never forget what an inspiration he was to me. He used to write to me and tell me how proud he was that I was serving. When he found out about my diagnosis, he wrote me an email and told me to not give up and to keep staying as active as I could because I was better off than him. He was right.
Every time I feel a twinge of pain, I try to focus on that. I am not a hero by any means. In fact, I can be an awful big baby when it comes to the pain. Still, I remember my late Uncle Roland and his words and his legacy. He was just one of those people who smiled through it all and said it could always be worse.
So, today as I sit here and type this, then stand up, shift my hips and move around while trying to type this I remind you and myself that it’s all about position. If you find yourself saying, I cannot do this because I am hurting or this is not comfortable, try a different approach, switch positions, shift your perspective. You can make the most of your days and you should. Don’t let anything get you down. Your time and talents and spirit are valuable and the world needs to know you. Let them know you and that you can conquer whatever ails you.
I am talking about this today for two reasons. One is to remind myself to be good to myself. The second reason is to tell those of you out there who suffer from various conditions that it is okay to hurt and slow down but to remember you are still breathing and can still make the most of your days by looking at alternatives and knowing it could be worse. I will add this caveat that I know some things are easier said than done and I don’t purport to understand every ailment out there or how it affects you. Just consider this my perspective on looking on the bright side.
I suffer from a back condition to put it in simple terms. Add to that arthritis runs in my family and my doctors have said that some of my joint pain comes from the hereditary arthritis.
As of late, pain has kicked into high gear lately, coming more frequently than in the past few years, and ibuprofen and water (I know you military folks will laugh at that) are sometimes my best friends because with little kids at home and a life to live I cannot be taking strong pain meds, especially if my spouse is deployed. The pain can be extreme at times, just last week I was back in urgent care having it checked out because it was so horrible. Though, I am better off than most largely able to maneuver through my days and keep up with my kids. However, I have had a lot of off days in the past few months.
I was serving on active duty in the Marines when I was diagnosed with degenerative spondylolisthesis. It crushed me that I had to leave active duty. I cannot even tell you how much. I loved my job. I was good at it. I was damn good. I fully intended on a career in the Marines. More than that, this condition disrupted my life in a number of ways. I have always been a dancer, and I love to run. After trying to slowly get back into dance, in 2008 I hung up my dancing shoes for the last time because try as I might, the pain kept coming back. I am hopeful that one day I can return to the stage, but for now my health is something I need to focus on for my family. After all, I cannot be chasing after three kids if I am laid up in my bed. I can run every now and again, but certainly not like I used to be able to. Again, there are good days and bad days.
Why am I telling you all of this? Because I know that others out there have debilitating conditions that keep them from enjoying life to the fullest. My great uncle was home on military years and years ago, long before I was born, when he was in a terrible accident that crippled him for life. He became a quadriplegic and was wheelchair bound for the rest of his life.
I will never forget what an inspiration he was to me. He used to write to me and tell me how proud he was that I was serving. When he found out about my diagnosis, he wrote me an email and told me to not give up and to keep staying as active as I could because I was better off than him. He was right.
Every time I feel a twinge of pain, I try to focus on that. I am not a hero by any means. In fact, I can be an awful big baby when it comes to the pain. Still, I remember my late Uncle Roland and his words and his legacy. He was just one of those people who smiled through it all and said it could always be worse.
So, today as I sit here and type this, then stand up, shift my hips and move around while trying to type this I remind you and myself that it’s all about position. If you find yourself saying, I cannot do this because I am hurting or this is not comfortable, try a different approach, switch positions, shift your perspective. You can make the most of your days and you should. Don’t let anything get you down. Your time and talents and spirit are valuable and the world needs to know you. Let them know you and that you can conquer whatever ails you.
Friday, February 24, 2012
An Incredible Team.
I am joining a team of amazing military spouses who have given back so much to our greater military community. I am honored to consider many of those in the MSOY family my friends already including the likes of Chelle McIntyre Brewer, Lori Bell, Mona Hatfield, Erin Whitehead, Megan Quinn Glynn, Crystal Cavalier, Laura Vanderwerf and Bianca Stralkowski (just to name a few and there are so many others)! These women are phenomenal and if you ever get a chance to talk with them, do! Listen, watch and learn by the example of citizenship and sacrifice they provide.
Military Spouse Magazine’s founder, Babette Maxwell, has created more than a title, and more than a magazine, but rather a welcoming community for all military spouses to do more and be more and to inspire more! This amazing platform she has created in the Military Spouse of the Year program empowers us to continue to do and give back to our peers and their families.
I am thrilled to be able to say that I get to work with some other outstanding individuals this year. They are my fellow branch winners: Jeremy Hilton (U.S. Air Force), El Brown (U.S. Army), Stephanie Geraghty (U.S. Marine Corps), Erin Strasburger (U.S. Navy), and Christine Gilbreath (U.S. National Guard).
Not only is Jeremy a fellow military veteran, but he has done some amazing things to support our exceptional and special needs families. I think he could quite literally move mountains if you ask him.
El Brown’s spirit just comes alive in all that I see about her. I haven’t even met her yet and I am invigorated by her passion for life and all that she does!
Stephanie’s fire emanates from her video as does her dedication to her program. She is quite obviously a go-getter! I think she can do so much with her energy and has already exhibited that she can.
Erin shares a lot of my interests and volunteer type of work so I know we will hit it off. Her compassion and dedication in her charitable work is quite admirable. I don’t know how she finds enough hours in the day to do what she does!
Last but certainly not least, Christine is a seasoned military spouse and also a fellow military veteran. She has given enormous amounts of her valuable time to work as a FRG leader and I am eager to chat with her about the Women’s Second Chance program and how I can help.
Please take the time to view all of their inspiring profiles and read about them and what they are doing to support our community at: http://msoy.milspouse.com/
These folks are doing big things to support to others while they hold down their respective homefronts. That is not an easy task! I applaud them all and I am humbled to be in their company. I cannot wait to join forces with them and learn from them and how we can support you all together as one awesome team!
Military Spouse Magazine’s founder, Babette Maxwell, has created more than a title, and more than a magazine, but rather a welcoming community for all military spouses to do more and be more and to inspire more! This amazing platform she has created in the Military Spouse of the Year program empowers us to continue to do and give back to our peers and their families.
I am thrilled to be able to say that I get to work with some other outstanding individuals this year. They are my fellow branch winners: Jeremy Hilton (U.S. Air Force), El Brown (U.S. Army), Stephanie Geraghty (U.S. Marine Corps), Erin Strasburger (U.S. Navy), and Christine Gilbreath (U.S. National Guard).
Not only is Jeremy a fellow military veteran, but he has done some amazing things to support our exceptional and special needs families. I think he could quite literally move mountains if you ask him.
El Brown’s spirit just comes alive in all that I see about her. I haven’t even met her yet and I am invigorated by her passion for life and all that she does!
Stephanie’s fire emanates from her video as does her dedication to her program. She is quite obviously a go-getter! I think she can do so much with her energy and has already exhibited that she can.
Erin shares a lot of my interests and volunteer type of work so I know we will hit it off. Her compassion and dedication in her charitable work is quite admirable. I don’t know how she finds enough hours in the day to do what she does!
Last but certainly not least, Christine is a seasoned military spouse and also a fellow military veteran. She has given enormous amounts of her valuable time to work as a FRG leader and I am eager to chat with her about the Women’s Second Chance program and how I can help.
Please take the time to view all of their inspiring profiles and read about them and what they are doing to support our community at: http://msoy.milspouse.com/
These folks are doing big things to support to others while they hold down their respective homefronts. That is not an easy task! I applaud them all and I am humbled to be in their company. I cannot wait to join forces with them and learn from them and how we can support you all together as one awesome team!
Monday, February 13, 2012
Building Capacity
I just had a terrific conference call with the head of Building Capacity. I cannot wait to bring what I have learned to the masses and further support not only our local school district, but enhance what is already being done around the country.
Do you know if your school is receiving IMPACT Aid? Is your school benefitting from DODEA Grants? If not, contact me at jennifer@cgspouses.com and let's chat.
Do you know if your school is receiving IMPACT Aid? Is your school benefitting from DODEA Grants? If not, contact me at jennifer@cgspouses.com and let's chat.
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Whirlwind of Opportunities
Life has been on fast forward these days. I am elated to announce that I was chosen as the 2012 Coast Guard Spouse of the Year. This is a tremendous honor and I cannot even put into words how amazing this is. I am humbled by the support I have received and by the work I am able to do. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
I am passionate about serving military families, and it's as simple as that. No matter where this journey takes me, I will continue doing what I do. Just to give you an idea of how I feel about serving military families, I wrote this out. I wanted to elaborate in my video, but because time is short and I was rather nervous on camera, I wrote it out. My video hits the main points and explains what I am already working on, in sum, but there is MORE. There is a lot of day to day, behind the scenes stuff that I don't share with folks, but here on this blog, I will elaborate more and more. But, first....here's what I envision about what I am doing now and what I intend to do as the 2012 Coast Guard Spouse of the Year and possibly the 2012 Military Spouse of the Year:
I am honored to be the 2012 Coast Guard Spouse of the year. I am proud also to be the founder of Coast Guard Family Organization and Military Spouse Mentoring. I created Coast Guard Family Organization, Inc., because Coast Guard families are often excluded Department of Defense programs like Military One Source as the Coast Guard falls under the Department of Homeland Security. My other main organization is Military Spouse Mentoring. This mentoring program was born from an idea to connect military spouses from all walks of life regardless of branch affiliation to help one another in the areas of education, career plans, parenting and navigating military life among many other things. But, this is not about me and what I have done. This is about our military families. This platform allows for those of us who volunteer our time a stronger voice to be heard for positive change and progressive impact.
Congressional budget cuts are on the rise and because of that military family programs face an uncertain future. I will continue to work hard to keep existing programs in tact and gain support for an all encompassing military family bill to further provide for military family benefits, which would also address military retirement. At this point, we need to cut through the bureaucratic red tape to save heartache and money and allow for creative financing.
Another thing I want to talk about is my education focus. With my own children, I have noticed shortcomings in public school curricula from state to state and this is happening across the Nation affecting a myriad of other military families. Therefore, I am working to gain support of standardization for K-12 curricula or at least providing viable alternatives for our military students who are often advserly affected, academically, because of PCS moves.
Similarly, I have felt the strain of transferring credits and limited collegiate financing options that so many other spouses face and I am supporting every effort including the Military Spouse Education Initiative to see improvements in this area. Likewise, I will continue to work to gain support for universal reciprocity of certifications, licensures for all spouses regardless of their branch affiliation.
As a military spouse, veteran, and parent, I understand many of the obstacles military families face on a daily basis, whether it is navigating TRICARE, dealing with the VA, special needs or reinteigration, etc. I am well versed in a number of these areas and what I haven't encountered, I seek to better understand to support my peers and the military family at large.
No matter where this journey takes me next I will continue serving military families. Thank you for support and please vote for the nominee that you feel would best serve us all as Military Spouse of the Year.
Here's my latest and greatest video (don't laugh too hard, I told you I was nervous, this is a HUGE honor and I get a little shaky when it comes down to it, after all, I have wonderfully, big, great shoes to fill!). I have been running into a lot of trouble getting a video to upload, but finally had luck today! 2012 MSOY FINALIST VIDEO
In other news, this week, I will be speaking with the folks at Business and Professional Women's Foundation about partnering our mentoring programs! Yay for www.militaryspousementoring.com. and I also have a scheduled conference with the folks at Building Capacity to discuss the K-12 education issues of our military students and what they are doing in working with Dr. Jill Biden and how I can help. This is all before Wednesday. Someone pinch me!
I am passionate about serving military families, and it's as simple as that. No matter where this journey takes me, I will continue doing what I do. Just to give you an idea of how I feel about serving military families, I wrote this out. I wanted to elaborate in my video, but because time is short and I was rather nervous on camera, I wrote it out. My video hits the main points and explains what I am already working on, in sum, but there is MORE. There is a lot of day to day, behind the scenes stuff that I don't share with folks, but here on this blog, I will elaborate more and more. But, first....here's what I envision about what I am doing now and what I intend to do as the 2012 Coast Guard Spouse of the Year and possibly the 2012 Military Spouse of the Year:
I am honored to be the 2012 Coast Guard Spouse of the year. I am proud also to be the founder of Coast Guard Family Organization and Military Spouse Mentoring. I created Coast Guard Family Organization, Inc., because Coast Guard families are often excluded Department of Defense programs like Military One Source as the Coast Guard falls under the Department of Homeland Security. My other main organization is Military Spouse Mentoring. This mentoring program was born from an idea to connect military spouses from all walks of life regardless of branch affiliation to help one another in the areas of education, career plans, parenting and navigating military life among many other things. But, this is not about me and what I have done. This is about our military families. This platform allows for those of us who volunteer our time a stronger voice to be heard for positive change and progressive impact.
Congressional budget cuts are on the rise and because of that military family programs face an uncertain future. I will continue to work hard to keep existing programs in tact and gain support for an all encompassing military family bill to further provide for military family benefits, which would also address military retirement. At this point, we need to cut through the bureaucratic red tape to save heartache and money and allow for creative financing.
Another thing I want to talk about is my education focus. With my own children, I have noticed shortcomings in public school curricula from state to state and this is happening across the Nation affecting a myriad of other military families. Therefore, I am working to gain support of standardization for K-12 curricula or at least providing viable alternatives for our military students who are often advserly affected, academically, because of PCS moves.
Similarly, I have felt the strain of transferring credits and limited collegiate financing options that so many other spouses face and I am supporting every effort including the Military Spouse Education Initiative to see improvements in this area. Likewise, I will continue to work to gain support for universal reciprocity of certifications, licensures for all spouses regardless of their branch affiliation.
As a military spouse, veteran, and parent, I understand many of the obstacles military families face on a daily basis, whether it is navigating TRICARE, dealing with the VA, special needs or reinteigration, etc. I am well versed in a number of these areas and what I haven't encountered, I seek to better understand to support my peers and the military family at large.
No matter where this journey takes me next I will continue serving military families. Thank you for support and please vote for the nominee that you feel would best serve us all as Military Spouse of the Year.
Here's my latest and greatest video (don't laugh too hard, I told you I was nervous, this is a HUGE honor and I get a little shaky when it comes down to it, after all, I have wonderfully, big, great shoes to fill!). I have been running into a lot of trouble getting a video to upload, but finally had luck today! 2012 MSOY FINALIST VIDEO
In other news, this week, I will be speaking with the folks at Business and Professional Women's Foundation about partnering our mentoring programs! Yay for www.militaryspousementoring.com. and I also have a scheduled conference with the folks at Building Capacity to discuss the K-12 education issues of our military students and what they are doing in working with Dr. Jill Biden and how I can help. This is all before Wednesday. Someone pinch me!
Monday, February 6, 2012
Appreciating Others.
My incredible husband isn’t one for taking credit for anything. He always makes sure his subordinates and teammates receive the accolades instead. He does what he does well because it means something to him. He doesn’t want the attention that comes with it though. The reward of a job well done, as Jonas Salk once said, is the opportunity to do more. And, because of the way he works, people are often providing my husband with more opportunities to make a positive impact on things. And, he does, because it’s just the kind of guy he is, but he won’t tell you that himself. Why?...Because it’s not about him.
I am a big believer in doing more. So taking Salk’s words and my husband’s example into mind, more often than not, I strive to raise those up around me. It’s the right thing to do. You can never appreciate someone too much. You can never say thank you enough.
I have a terrific team at Coast Guard Family Organization, Inc. and a great growing team at Military Spouse Mentoring. I cannot even begin to tell you how incredible my support is at United Against MST. So, here I want to take a moment to thank each one of the amazing folks who is a dedicated volunteer to these organizations. Without them, these groups would be nonexistent. I cannot run them by myself. I just have ideas and dreams and the people around me, supporting me, help me to make it happen. They are truly awesome volunteers who have as much faith in causes that I do and keep doing what they can to keep forging ahead.
CGFO, Inc. - Amber Broadway and Beth Koehler.
CGFO Advisory Board –Amy Goodpaster-Strebe, Chrissy Thompson, Rebecca Dorval, and Alisha Carter.
Military Spouse Mentoring – Amber Broadway, Beth Koehler and Amy Granillo.
United Against MST (on the web)– Susan Avila-Smith.
I am a big believer in doing more. So taking Salk’s words and my husband’s example into mind, more often than not, I strive to raise those up around me. It’s the right thing to do. You can never appreciate someone too much. You can never say thank you enough.
I have a terrific team at Coast Guard Family Organization, Inc. and a great growing team at Military Spouse Mentoring. I cannot even begin to tell you how incredible my support is at United Against MST. So, here I want to take a moment to thank each one of the amazing folks who is a dedicated volunteer to these organizations. Without them, these groups would be nonexistent. I cannot run them by myself. I just have ideas and dreams and the people around me, supporting me, help me to make it happen. They are truly awesome volunteers who have as much faith in causes that I do and keep doing what they can to keep forging ahead.
CGFO, Inc. - Amber Broadway and Beth Koehler.
CGFO Advisory Board –Amy Goodpaster-Strebe, Chrissy Thompson, Rebecca Dorval, and Alisha Carter.
Military Spouse Mentoring – Amber Broadway, Beth Koehler and Amy Granillo.
United Against MST (on the web)– Susan Avila-Smith.
We are only as strong as those around us. I am proud to include myself among the ranks of these remarkable women. There are SO MANY more supporting the organizations above, that you may not know of, behind the scenes; I would love to list them, but truly, there is not enough internet space.
In sum, I just want to say, I am a grateful person. I am blessed to be surrounded by so many philanthropic individuals who give their time and talents to support others—so many others they will never even meet. BUT, their work matters. I thank them and am thankful for them each and every day. Last but not least, I am thankful for my husband and his philosophy on teamwork. His appreciation for others and putting them before himself is something I truly admire.
My advice for this week: Thank someone. Make sure they know you appreciate what they do.
Sunday, February 5, 2012
Being supportive v. Being the problem solver
Today, I heard some words about how important is to try to NOT heal the world’s hurt.
Volunteers and folks involved with charity are usually compassionate beyond a normal level--bleeding hearts, if you will. Compassion and kindness can be as simple as being there and letting others know you care. Still, many seek to fix all that ails those who come to them for aid. I exhibit this trait occasionally. To be honest, it used to take up a great deal of my time. I have been working on this for a couple of years. I am retraining myself to know that I can be supportive, but not solve everyone's problems.
What can be frustrating is not being able to succeed at fixing everyone’s problems all the time and that's how a problem can become bigger, because it starts adversely affecting more and more people. The key is realizing that you can be a good humanitarian by just listening and supporting.
I am not saying that you shouldn't try to help others. No, that's not it at all. What I mean is to assess the situation and see if the particular issue calls for you to be an ally or a fixer. There are some cases in which you might actually be able to help solve a problem or at least support an effort to work towards the resolutions. Knowing the difference in situations is the tricky part.
Not everyone is resourceful and not everyone feels as though their situation is fair; and, therefore, they are seeking a remedy.
Unfortunate circumstances happen. Sometimes it can be due to choices an individual makes or because of things out of their control. Regardless of why someone is suffering, supporters cannot be expected to fix it all. They also shouldn’t place that burden upon themselves. Oftentimes, the suffering individual doesn’t even want you to fix their problem. Still, you may recognize the predicament and you may jump to resolve it, as is your nature, as is mine.
In terms of supporting military families, this is a common issue. What I have found is that by making myself available to others, even if just lending an ear. Being supportive and hearing what someone is saying, is all it takes sometimes to help them regain their confidence and get themselves the resources they need to get things back on track.
I enjoy helping others. I feel it is my duty to give back in many areas. I have an obligation to serve. I also take pride in the fact that I am often sought out for advice and support. I wish I had all the answers, but I don’t. I am learning to know that my inability to fix everything is not a limitation, but rather an opportunity to be simply an ally.
And, more often than not, that’s all it takes. If someone knows you are in the corner and you care, they can keep forging ahead. They can figure it out and fix it on their own.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
So swamped it's silly.
Great things happen all at once it seems!
For those of you who know I've found it difficult to break into the working arena in my new area, the great news is, I've been successful (finally!). I guess I'll have to update that latest HUN article. A terrific firm invested in me and hired me on for more than just contracted legal work that I have been doing here and there as a freelancer.
Great back-to-work-news aside, I am thrilled to say that, we at Coast Guard Family Organization, Inc. having been looking ahead at the redesign of our website. My wonderful friend, terrific supporter, and Vice President of the organization, Amber Broadway, is also our Marketing Director. We are looking at some nifty options to make the site more engaging for you and also to intertwine some language options. Most readers, in other Nations, and if you have your settings right on your computer can view us in their respective language, but we are hoping to bring a quick and easy translator to you right at your fingertips for those of you who don't have the options right there on your screen already. We are also bringing back our blog and will have some great stories and life experiences from varied CG spouses.
Military Spouse Mentoring is bringing on some contributing writers as well. Our newest writer will be Amy Granillo, a well-versed business woman who is also a military spouse. We are also communicating with various mentoring programs around the country to further develop what we already have in place.
This past week, I was contacted by a collegiate department, that collaborates with Dr. Jill Biden on education matters, about how we can possibly work together to merge the things I am doing to benefit our military children with what they are working on. Is that not amazing!?! To say that I am thrilled is a gross understatement.
What change do you want to see? How can I get you the resources you need and what can I help with? Let me know! I might not have the answer, but chances are, I might know someone who does.
For those of you who know I've found it difficult to break into the working arena in my new area, the great news is, I've been successful (finally!). I guess I'll have to update that latest HUN article. A terrific firm invested in me and hired me on for more than just contracted legal work that I have been doing here and there as a freelancer.
Great back-to-work-news aside, I am thrilled to say that, we at Coast Guard Family Organization, Inc. having been looking ahead at the redesign of our website. My wonderful friend, terrific supporter, and Vice President of the organization, Amber Broadway, is also our Marketing Director. We are looking at some nifty options to make the site more engaging for you and also to intertwine some language options. Most readers, in other Nations, and if you have your settings right on your computer can view us in their respective language, but we are hoping to bring a quick and easy translator to you right at your fingertips for those of you who don't have the options right there on your screen already. We are also bringing back our blog and will have some great stories and life experiences from varied CG spouses.
Military Spouse Mentoring is bringing on some contributing writers as well. Our newest writer will be Amy Granillo, a well-versed business woman who is also a military spouse. We are also communicating with various mentoring programs around the country to further develop what we already have in place.
This past week, I was contacted by a collegiate department, that collaborates with Dr. Jill Biden on education matters, about how we can possibly work together to merge the things I am doing to benefit our military children with what they are working on. Is that not amazing!?! To say that I am thrilled is a gross understatement.
What change do you want to see? How can I get you the resources you need and what can I help with? Let me know! I might not have the answer, but chances are, I might know someone who does.
Saturday, January 28, 2012
I hit the books. It hit my wallet.
I was always a student who showed exceptional academic promise growing up. My teachers always gave glowing reports. Everyone assumed I would always do well scholastically and so did I. Fast forward to high school. It was assumed I would make National Honor Society. I didn't. For some reason, my junior year, my grades plummeted. It could have been because of my insane extracurricular and work schedule. It could also have been party due to peer pressure and slacking off. Whatever the reason, my grades suffered because I stopped putting in the effort I always had. I started having other interests and not having my nose in a book all the time didn't fit in. I still studied and did well, but I was certainly not the top in my class -- by a long shot.
This cost me a number of scholarships and potential collegiate pursuits.
I decided, the summer before my senior year of high school, to join the United States Marine Corps. This had nothing to do with my grades. Instead, I always felt called to service. I come from a military family and had it in my blood, in a way. I enjoyed the romance and history of wars of bygone eras; but the tragedies were not lost on me. Still, I felt untouchable. It was a time of peace when I enlisted and I assured my parents there was nothing to worry about.
I started taking some college classes when I was on active duty. Because of operational commitments interfering and some bad choices of not going to class a time or two, I withdrew. In 1999, I left active duty with an Honorable Discharge. I still hadn't finished school. Looking back, my recruiter had instilled in me that I would and it would be a piece of cake. Funny thing, is, it wasn't, for a number of reasons.
I rejoined the civilian world and started a full-time job and began taking community college courses at night. It was hard. It was grueling because while my friends were out and about having fun, I was in class or doing homework. I excelled at most of my classes, but almost begrudgingly, if you can imagine that. I was still young. I loathed spending my nights and weekends in school. I had applied for my GI Bill and was planning on using that because I felt I had to. To be honest, at that point in my life, my heart wasn't in school and I didn't give it the effort I could have. I wasted a lot of time and money on classes that would end being nontransferable when I switched schools.
I met my boyfriend (now husband) not long after I started night classes. He was very supportive and encouraged me to keep going to school even when I had no desire to do so. About six months into our relationship, things got very serious and we moved. So, I withdrew from community college and transferred to a private college in New Hampshire near where we lived.
Still working full-time and having a heck of a commute into and out of Boston each day, the school just got to be too much for me. I couldn't give it the attention it deserved and I didn't want to waste anymore of my GI Bill. A bunch of my community college and military credits didn't transfer or translate to my new college's program. I was dismayed, to say the least. For awhile, I stopped going to school.
We got married and within a year I was expecting our first child. Reality began to set in. If I don't go back to school now, when was I going to, I asked myself. All I could envision was my child graduating college before I had. This was and is perfectly acceptable. However, at that point in my life, it didn't sit well with me and I finally realized I had to make the commitment to my education.
Eight months pregnant, still working full time, and with my husband about to join a deploying unit, I went back to school. Crazy? Yes, perhaps. I had some months left on my GI Bill and I gave it my all. My professors thought I was a bit loopy for even attempting this given my situation, but they were supportive anyway, especially two I can recall fondly.
Even though I was using my GI Bill, my education was costly early on. When I couldn't attend enough classes to qualify for the GI Bill, I had to pay out of pocket and take out student loans. I had to because it was the only thing that worked for my family situation at the time.
I decided to start taking online classes first so that I could still be home with my baby when my husband was deployed. This worked for quite awhile. I would work and study when she napped and then stay up late hours at night while she slept in her crib. As you can imagine, there were many tough nights with colic and a cranky mommy and an absent husband that made college very trying. I kept my eyes set on my goal and made a plan to graduate within two years with my Bachelor of Arts.
By the time 2005 rolled around, I had another child. I was caring for two babies and enduring numerous deployments as my husband was still at his same unit. I did it though. In May 2005, I graduated with my BA! My husband was away at a school and wasn't even sure if he could make it to the graduation, but he did. He got there in the nick of time and my mom and him and two daughters watched me walk down the aisle in my cap and gown and receive my degree.
My eyes were still set on continuing my education. Unfortunately, after 36 months, my GI Bill ran out. I decided I would still go on in school. I applied for grants, scholarships and loans. I only was able to get the loans (of course). I started graduate school in the spring of 2006. If you can believe it, shortly thereafter, I found out I was expecting (unexpectedly) my third child. I almost had a melt down. How was I going to do this? How could I manage grad school and three kids? I considered dropping out, but opted to give it a go. I am so glad I did. My son arrived in April of 2007 and I kept at it, remembering all I had endured just to get my BA. I knew I could do this!
Sure, I incurred another set of student loans, but I graduated in 2008 with my Masters.
Going back to school certainly came with numerous obstacles as an adult learner. I was far from the youngest in my class, but I also wasn't the youngest. When I finally made the serious commitment to go back and stick with it in 2003 my life changed. I said that I will do this for myself and for my family. I did.
There are so many who find finances an obstacle, but you can get assistance. I am sure there was much more available to me, but I didn't have the resources to get them. And, as a Coast Guard spouse, many of the DOD assistance programs weren't available to me.
It's not as easy and readily available as most military spouses wish for it to be, but that is something I am committed to changing. The difficulties I faced with deployments, childcare expenses, tuition and course costs, etc. helped me to understand what so many other military spouses face. Education is attainable, but for so many it feels unattainable. I am eager to work on some progressive and positive changes in this vein and am already doing what I can to see improvements made in this area.
This cost me a number of scholarships and potential collegiate pursuits.
I decided, the summer before my senior year of high school, to join the United States Marine Corps. This had nothing to do with my grades. Instead, I always felt called to service. I come from a military family and had it in my blood, in a way. I enjoyed the romance and history of wars of bygone eras; but the tragedies were not lost on me. Still, I felt untouchable. It was a time of peace when I enlisted and I assured my parents there was nothing to worry about.
I started taking some college classes when I was on active duty. Because of operational commitments interfering and some bad choices of not going to class a time or two, I withdrew. In 1999, I left active duty with an Honorable Discharge. I still hadn't finished school. Looking back, my recruiter had instilled in me that I would and it would be a piece of cake. Funny thing, is, it wasn't, for a number of reasons.
I rejoined the civilian world and started a full-time job and began taking community college courses at night. It was hard. It was grueling because while my friends were out and about having fun, I was in class or doing homework. I excelled at most of my classes, but almost begrudgingly, if you can imagine that. I was still young. I loathed spending my nights and weekends in school. I had applied for my GI Bill and was planning on using that because I felt I had to. To be honest, at that point in my life, my heart wasn't in school and I didn't give it the effort I could have. I wasted a lot of time and money on classes that would end being nontransferable when I switched schools.
I met my boyfriend (now husband) not long after I started night classes. He was very supportive and encouraged me to keep going to school even when I had no desire to do so. About six months into our relationship, things got very serious and we moved. So, I withdrew from community college and transferred to a private college in New Hampshire near where we lived.
Still working full-time and having a heck of a commute into and out of Boston each day, the school just got to be too much for me. I couldn't give it the attention it deserved and I didn't want to waste anymore of my GI Bill. A bunch of my community college and military credits didn't transfer or translate to my new college's program. I was dismayed, to say the least. For awhile, I stopped going to school.
We got married and within a year I was expecting our first child. Reality began to set in. If I don't go back to school now, when was I going to, I asked myself. All I could envision was my child graduating college before I had. This was and is perfectly acceptable. However, at that point in my life, it didn't sit well with me and I finally realized I had to make the commitment to my education.
Eight months pregnant, still working full time, and with my husband about to join a deploying unit, I went back to school. Crazy? Yes, perhaps. I had some months left on my GI Bill and I gave it my all. My professors thought I was a bit loopy for even attempting this given my situation, but they were supportive anyway, especially two I can recall fondly.
Even though I was using my GI Bill, my education was costly early on. When I couldn't attend enough classes to qualify for the GI Bill, I had to pay out of pocket and take out student loans. I had to because it was the only thing that worked for my family situation at the time.
I decided to start taking online classes first so that I could still be home with my baby when my husband was deployed. This worked for quite awhile. I would work and study when she napped and then stay up late hours at night while she slept in her crib. As you can imagine, there were many tough nights with colic and a cranky mommy and an absent husband that made college very trying. I kept my eyes set on my goal and made a plan to graduate within two years with my Bachelor of Arts.
By the time 2005 rolled around, I had another child. I was caring for two babies and enduring numerous deployments as my husband was still at his same unit. I did it though. In May 2005, I graduated with my BA! My husband was away at a school and wasn't even sure if he could make it to the graduation, but he did. He got there in the nick of time and my mom and him and two daughters watched me walk down the aisle in my cap and gown and receive my degree.
My eyes were still set on continuing my education. Unfortunately, after 36 months, my GI Bill ran out. I decided I would still go on in school. I applied for grants, scholarships and loans. I only was able to get the loans (of course). I started graduate school in the spring of 2006. If you can believe it, shortly thereafter, I found out I was expecting (unexpectedly) my third child. I almost had a melt down. How was I going to do this? How could I manage grad school and three kids? I considered dropping out, but opted to give it a go. I am so glad I did. My son arrived in April of 2007 and I kept at it, remembering all I had endured just to get my BA. I knew I could do this!
Sure, I incurred another set of student loans, but I graduated in 2008 with my Masters.
Going back to school certainly came with numerous obstacles as an adult learner. I was far from the youngest in my class, but I also wasn't the youngest. When I finally made the serious commitment to go back and stick with it in 2003 my life changed. I said that I will do this for myself and for my family. I did.
There are so many who find finances an obstacle, but you can get assistance. I am sure there was much more available to me, but I didn't have the resources to get them. And, as a Coast Guard spouse, many of the DOD assistance programs weren't available to me.
It's not as easy and readily available as most military spouses wish for it to be, but that is something I am committed to changing. The difficulties I faced with deployments, childcare expenses, tuition and course costs, etc. helped me to understand what so many other military spouses face. Education is attainable, but for so many it feels unattainable. I am eager to work on some progressive and positive changes in this vein and am already doing what I can to see improvements made in this area.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
A simple blog with a powerful impact.
One of the most rewarding things happened the other day. A friend told me that she and her husband made the decision to join the USCG because of me. Well, in a way it was because of me. She said she had been reading a blog I started a few years ago, www.onebigcoastiefamily.blogspot.com (also known as Waiting for Ships) which has now become the CGFO blog.
She enjoyed the blog and what she read and encouraged her husband to join the CG. I am sure there was much more to it than that, but I was so moved and giddy inside that this is mostly what I took away from it.
Can you imagine how great that feels? To know I started something, a simple something, and it so directly impacted a family’s life? I am hopeful that as she and her husband are surrounded by great moments and opportunities as continue their Coast Guard journey. They recently PCSd away from where I currently live and I am honored to have gotten to know them and befriend them. Fair winds and following seas my friends.
She enjoyed the blog and what she read and encouraged her husband to join the CG. I am sure there was much more to it than that, but I was so moved and giddy inside that this is mostly what I took away from it.
Can you imagine how great that feels? To know I started something, a simple something, and it so directly impacted a family’s life? I am hopeful that as she and her husband are surrounded by great moments and opportunities as continue their Coast Guard journey. They recently PCSd away from where I currently live and I am honored to have gotten to know them and befriend them. Fair winds and following seas my friends.
Monday, January 23, 2012
It's Monday and it's a busy one!
This morning's festivities kicked off with responding to a military spouse's concerns about her housing situation. They are living in shabby housing to say the least. That's not the big problem though. The issue is that no one is helping her out and she is getting nowhere fast. Hopefully the information I was able to give her will provide her with enough ammunition to get things taken care of.
On tap for today is some freelance legal work (a girl's gotta pay the bills) and then volunteering at my daughter's school for a bit.
One issue I am seriously addressing this week is working collobaratively on a milspouse education matter that was recently posed to me. I am elated to support the brains behind the mission and see some changes put into place. Our military spouses sacrifice and serve so much, but often feel that education is still not within their reach due to financial strains, childcare matters, inability to transfer enough credits between schools and so on and so on. It's about high time this ridiculousness is put to an end. Military spouses need a strong voice and need a team of people working on their side and I am more than thrilled to be on that team!
Have a fantastic day everyone and don't forget to vote at MSOY. Thank you!
On tap for today is some freelance legal work (a girl's gotta pay the bills) and then volunteering at my daughter's school for a bit.
One issue I am seriously addressing this week is working collobaratively on a milspouse education matter that was recently posed to me. I am elated to support the brains behind the mission and see some changes put into place. Our military spouses sacrifice and serve so much, but often feel that education is still not within their reach due to financial strains, childcare matters, inability to transfer enough credits between schools and so on and so on. It's about high time this ridiculousness is put to an end. Military spouses need a strong voice and need a team of people working on their side and I am more than thrilled to be on that team!
Have a fantastic day everyone and don't forget to vote at MSOY. Thank you!
Friday, January 20, 2012
MSEI
Next month 2011 Military Spouse of the year Bianca Strzalkwoski will present her EDU Initiative for MilSpouses. Please help her and this effrot by completing this survey. https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/H9W2WX7
Making Changes
I am an outstanding Coast Guard wife. There I've said it. Chances are, if you are here on this page, you are an outstanding military family member and are interested in seeing positive changes in your community and the world. We can make things happen together.
I have a number of blogs that I contribute to as well as some other private ones for family and friends, but this is a new adventure. You can see my video about the changes I am working on in my profile...what profile? Read on....
Jennifer Bassett is one of the top five finalists for Coast Guard Spouse of the Year and in the running for 2012 Military Spouse of the Year. If you would like to read about her commitment and work on behalf of CG and other military families, please visit her profile and vote at: http://msoy.milspouse.com/ViewProfile.aspx?id=144Voting runs through 11:59pm on 2/3. 2/6th-13th they will be announcing 1 branch winner per day. National voting runs 2/14 to 3/5.
I have a number of blogs that I contribute to as well as some other private ones for family and friends, but this is a new adventure. You can see my video about the changes I am working on in my profile...what profile? Read on....
Jennifer Bassett is one of the top five finalists for Coast Guard Spouse of the Year and in the running for 2012 Military Spouse of the Year. If you would like to read about her commitment and work on behalf of CG and other military families, please visit her profile and vote at: http://msoy.milspouse.com/ViewProfile.aspx?id=144Voting runs through 11:59pm on 2/3. 2/6th-13th they will be announcing 1 branch winner per day. National voting runs 2/14 to 3/5.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)