Look on the bright side.

When my spouse is deployed life certainly kicks into fast paced high gear. With three little ones running in various different directions you can imagine things can become overwhelming pretty rapidly. What I need to remember, that all military spouses need to remember is to breathe. Take a moment or two or a day for yourself if you are able. The burdens of parenthood, married life and the military all mixed together can be triply overpowering if you are not cautious.

I am talking about this today for two reasons. One is to remind myself to be good to myself. The second reason is to tell those of you out there who suffer from various conditions that it is okay to hurt and slow down but to remember you are still breathing and can still make the most of your days by looking at alternatives and knowing it could be worse. I will add this caveat that I know some things are easier said than done and I don’t purport to understand every ailment out there or how it affects you. Just consider this my perspective on looking on the bright side.

I suffer from a back condition to put it in simple terms. Add to that arthritis runs in my family and my doctors have said that some of my joint pain comes from the hereditary arthritis.

As of late, pain has kicked into high gear lately, coming more frequently than in the past few years, and ibuprofen and water (I know you military folks will laugh at that) are sometimes my best friends because with little kids at home and a life to live I cannot be taking strong pain meds, especially if my spouse is deployed. The pain can be extreme at times, just last week I was back in urgent care having it checked out because it was so horrible. Though, I am better off than most largely able to maneuver through my days and keep up with my kids. However, I have had a lot of off days in the past few months.

I was serving on active duty in the Marines when I was diagnosed with degenerative spondylolisthesis. It crushed me that I had to leave active duty. I cannot even tell you how much. I loved my job. I was good at it. I was damn good. I fully intended on a career in the Marines. More than that, this condition disrupted my life in a number of ways. I have always been a dancer, and I love to run. After trying to slowly get back into dance, in 2008 I hung up my dancing shoes for the last time because try as I might, the pain kept coming back. I am hopeful that one day I can return to the stage, but for now my health is something I need to focus on for my family. After all, I cannot be chasing after three kids if I am laid up in my bed. I can run every now and again, but certainly not like I used to be able to. Again, there are good days and bad days.

Why am I telling you all of this? Because I know that others out there have debilitating conditions that keep them from enjoying life to the fullest. My great uncle was home on military years and years ago, long before I was born, when he was in a terrible accident that crippled him for life. He became a quadriplegic and was wheelchair bound for the rest of his life.

I will never forget what an inspiration he was to me. He used to write to me and tell me how proud he was that I was serving. When he found out about my diagnosis, he wrote me an email and told me to not give up and to keep staying as active as I could because I was better off than him. He was right.

Every time I feel a twinge of pain, I try to focus on that. I am not a hero by any means. In fact, I can be an awful big baby when it comes to the pain. Still, I remember my late Uncle Roland and his words and his legacy. He was just one of those people who smiled through it all and said it could always be worse.

So, today as I sit here and type this, then stand up, shift my hips and move around while trying to type this I remind you and myself that it’s all about position. If you find yourself saying, I cannot do this because I am hurting or this is not comfortable, try a different approach, switch positions, shift your perspective. You can make the most of your days and you should. Don’t let anything get you down. Your time and talents and spirit are valuable and the world needs to know you. Let them know you and that you can conquer whatever ails you.